Why ARE We Drinking To Excess?
@ Last ditch cure for son’s gayness.
@ In order to unleash charming-cum-monstrous demi-self.
@ A visceral hatred of the backwards alphabet.
@ Are Egyptian slaves, do not get eatin’ bread.
@ Desperately trying to enjoy live baseball.
@ Vomit contest.
@ Trying to work up the courage to cheat on spouse.
@ Didn’t want 11 remaining beers to get lonely.
@ Inventor trying to invent exciting new smells/textures and colors poop can be.
@ Scraped throat– need to clean wound.
@ Amateur Fire Breather, do not yet have access to Pros-only catalogue.
@ Genuinely love the taste of hops.
@ Have very specific instructions from parents’ genetic blueprint: must follow.
@ Trying to fit in with the cool homeless.
@ Need to steady nerves for big blood test. (The irony!)!/.
@ Tough hepatic love; desire to show hippocampus “who’s boss”.
@ Require hydration to live.
@ 7:52 AM and I’m not allowed to drink at work.
@ Must change life (or die).