What Am I Thinking RIGHT NOW?: the Psychic Gameshow
Host: And we’re back for the third round of “What Am I Thinking Right Now?”– the only game show that tests contestants based on their demonstrated psychic ability. After two rounds the score is all knotted up at 0 apiece.
Crowd is completely silent, contestants still
Host: Now we’ve made some alterations at the behest of our contestants. We’ve removed all the mercury from the studio [cut to intern holding up a fistful of thermometers, two fish, and a mouthsworth of old teeth], we’ve ceased all X-Rays within a two mile radius– with heartfelt apologies to our more cancer-ridden viewers and their thoughtless, pre-disposing families– and all of us have had a thorough floss.
Another intern goes row by row with crudbucket to capture inter-dental chunks
Host: Ok. Do you feel your mental plaque receding, oh Great Periodonti?
B: [massaging mandibles, mouth ajar, eyes squoze tight] My all-divining mouth eye would appear to be degaussed, yes.
Host: And your relationship with your Lord/Savior, Bethany?
A: He apologized for forsaking me.
A: I sensed that he had had some similar issues with his father, and he admitted that that was so. And that’s when the healing began.
Host: You healed Him?
A: All fathers are the children of sons, you know.
Host: I guess?
Cold moment: Crowd grimaces, an intern is caught using old teeth to give fish human smiles
Host: Well let’s get things started here in Round 3 with THE question that is the entirety of our game
Host: Say it with me, folks…
All: What. Am. I. Thinking. RIGHT NOW!?
Host: Ok— you heard them, contestants– What am I thinking right now?
A: You’re hurting. I sense a tragedy in your past. An “R” name. Or word. Maybe ‘heaRt,’ or a ‘caR’…
B: [rubbing mandibles] I see a form. Large, dark, perhaps mammalian in nature.
C: Naked Sex Ape!
Host: I’m sorry. The correct answer was “48”. The number… 48.
TO BE CONTINUED???????????????
Tags: A bit.