Next Top Runway Chef – 12-Course European History Meal
or, I Like My Meals Like I Like My Women– Decadent and Pretend
Engageante / Confuse Bouche1
Pearl Roundels of Hot Soprariccio slapped on a Chemise Crape; a sprig of fresh periwig to garnish.
Garbanzo Houppelande; served with a basket of our House Pumpernickel Brocades.
A bed of Sprang Reticella tossed with Roasted Virago Bulbs, Lampas Hearts, and Fresh Mandelion Root, and drizzled with an balsamic aiguellete reduction.
Zibellini twirled with miniver oil and inkle weaved with a fichu and white truffle essence.
Spanish Farthingale split into Partlets, spooned with plum wine sauce and topped with a wine-poached Mantua plum; served on a bed of sauteed petticoat breeches and filleted spotted stoat gussets.
Lace Filet of Peascod wrapped in Banyan Leaves and smoked under the French Hood; sauced with a piccadill reduction and dressed with braised Broccoli Robe a la Francaise.
Opus Anglicanum: potatoes, leeks, turnips, brocatello, carrots, bodkin, and wearp beef all boiled to within an inch of their constitution and plopped in a crock.
Haunch of the mighty Senmurv split twain, encased inside a vair galligaskins, and broiled; served en doublet, couched and laid in twin cornettes of Coutille Mushrooms, Dirndlberry preserves, and Roast Gabardine Fiddleheads. Mint Justacorps for dipping.
A tart, clean Dirndlberry Champagne Sorbet topped with fresh, lightly sugared drindlberries; served in a liripipe flute, afloat in a rhinegrave and mango “soup”.
Jellied Sweet Meats Course
Weft Face in a Voided Velvet Serriculture.
Bum Roll, One (1) filled with Chocolate Bombazine, and topped with Whipped Dimity and Caramelized Poulaines.
Cheese & Fruit Course
Tonight we have a spreadable Sweet Allucialato, a demi-firm, five-year Fontange, and a semi-soft Smoky Gamsbart; throth2 pair well with our offerings of Fig Redingote, Spoon-Busked Pluots, and Roast Woad-Dyed Pistachios; Crisp Crinoline Plackets and Chintz Biscuits complete the plate.
1How has no food critic made this pun? It seems EXACTLY their speed.
2That’s ‘both’ but for all three.
Tags: Next Top Runway Chef