But There Are Times When I Am Proud Of Myself

But There Are Times When I Am Proud Of Myself

At work, I couldn’t grasp the instructions my supervisor gave me (to “pound out” a value in a database). Assuming she meant ‘to select that line’s number and then press enter, thus (somehow, magically) refreshing the field and updating it with the newly changed contract information,’ I did so– to no effect.

When I showed her what wasn’t working, she explained that I was supposed to press shift+3 (or, #) in the field thus erasing the data currently entered and allowing it to refresh correctly. Feeling pretty dumb (as I was already aware of the use of the pound symbol to erase), I explained my confusion:

“Oh, I thought you meant to just >jam< the enter button a bunch.

You know, just really pound on it.

Like tenderizing meat– you pound it out…

And enter, of course, is almost an anagram for tender, so.

–> I thought you were trying to explain things anagramatically.”

Delivering it, too.1

Later, she suggested that I create a Dummy Letter in order to note an error in a batch that I was in the process of following-up on but had not yet received the information necessary to fix. And2 I asked her “So it should go something like ‘Why didn’t you attribute those 401(a) contributions, Dummy?'” in a Red Foxx voice as reverse engineered from sitcom references.3

I am still in love with the idea of Dummy Letters and sort of want to write some.

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1like some kind of human monster

2like some kind of human monster

3like most of my knowledge/like some kind of human monster

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