But There Are Times When I Am Proud Of Myself
At work, I couldn’t grasp the instructions my supervisor gave me (to “pound out” a value in a database). Assuming she meant ‘to select that line’s number and then press enter, thus (somehow, magically) refreshing the field and updating it with the newly changed contract information,’ I did so– to no effect.
When I showed her what wasn’t working, she explained that I was supposed to press shift+3 (or, #) in the field thus erasing the data currently entered and allowing it to refresh correctly. Feeling pretty dumb (as I was already aware of the use of the pound symbol to erase), I explained my confusion:
“Oh, I thought you meant to just >jam< the enter button a bunch.
You know, just really pound on it.
Like tenderizing meat– you pound it out…
And enter, of course, is almost an anagram for tender, so.
–> I thought you were trying to explain things anagramatically.”
Delivering it, too.1
Later, she suggested that I create a Dummy Letter in order to note an error in a batch that I was in the process of following-up on but had not yet received the information necessary to fix. And2 I asked her “So it should go something like ‘Why didn’t you attribute those 401(a) contributions, Dummy?'” in a Red Foxx voice as reverse engineered from sitcom references.3
I am still in love with the idea of Dummy Letters and sort of want to write some.
1like some kind of human monster
2like some kind of human monster
3like most of my knowledge/like some kind of human monster