#676

A. We’re dying together.
B. Now?
A. No. Not tonight.
B. Oh. Good.
A. Someday, though.
B. Soon?
A. Soon enough.
B. Oh. Not good.
A. Slowly.
B. How slow?
A. It just started.
B. I didn’t notice.
A. It’s that slow.
B. Really?
A. You won’t notice until you can’t help but notice
B. So if I never notice…
A. You’ll notice.
B. I’d rather not.
A. Neither would I , but
B. Are you sure
A. Am I sure?
B. You seem pretty excited
A. No one wants to die.
B. Some people do.
A. I don’t.
B. I don’t want to die either.
A. Then it’s agreed.
B. Agreed.
A.
B.
A. We’re still dying though.
B. So I’ve heard.
A. Together.
B. Sure.
A. Sure?
B. Yes.
A. You don’t seem
B. How much older do you think you’ll get?
A. What?
B. How much older do you think we’ll get?
A. That’s not what I wanted, but thanks
B. You’ll die first.
A. No
B. You’ll die first. It’s so obvious
A. Come on.
B. Everyone here is thinking it.
A. You can’t know that
B. But I do.
A. Not for sure
B. Absolutely for sure.
A. We’re dying together.
B. Slowly
A. That’s right
B. Some more slowly than others
A. Exac – waiit
B. Some much less so.
A. So?
B. Slow. You have two months left.
A.
B. Slowly. The rest of your life in one summer vacation.
A.
B. Except it’s not summer. Slower. It’s fall.
A.
B. And, slowest, not the meaningful kind either. Not the fall of foliage and wood smoke. The irreducible grey continuance of one interminable sunless day.
A. I don’t like this at all.
B. Ok. There is some wood smoke.
A. If I’m dying in December, what do I do then?
B. You are dying in Decmeber, what do you do then?
A. I run.
B. A marathon?
A. A way. I run away, so it can’t catch me.
B. You can’t. It’s too fast for that.
A. But you said it was slow – the slowest, even.
B. It’s not slow. Everything is slow.
A. I’ll just go faster.
B. You’ll still be slow. Much too slow to escape.
A. I don’t like this even a little.
B. We’re dying together, just apart.
A. When do you die, then?
B. Oh I don’t.
A. Yes huh. You just said.
B. I’m dying. But, I don’t die.
A. No?
B. No. I meet the slowness on its own terms.  I crack it’s exact rate and blend in completely.
A. That doesn’t seem too different from just dying instead.
B. But I don’t die. I’m just always dying but still alive.
A. Summer vacation is starting to sound preferable.
B. I’m glad it does because it’s coming. Soon.
A. Shit.
B. I know.
A. Quick– tell me the code. I want to blend with you.
B. Sorry. I don’t figure it out until you die unexpectedly, agonizingly, out of nowhere two months from now.
A. No!
B. Your loss inspires me.
A. (That’s sweet but) No!
B. It’s a compliment.
A. I’ll just have to be awful to you from now until then.
B. What will that accomplish?
A. You won’t be inspired, you’ll never figure out the rate, you’ll die like normal, and then one day you’ll be with me.
B. But I won’t want to.
A. What? Why not.
B. If you’re awful enough to me that I don’t miss you, I will certainly not be seeking you out beyond the grave.
A. Nuts! A real-life Catch-22!
B. A real-death Catch-22.
A. I take it all back. Can’t we just not die at all instead?
B. Sorry. You already said. We’re dying.
A. I take it back.
B. No. You’ can’t.
A. I can and I will.
B. Life is nothing but a series of bad choices you can’t take back. If you do so you’ll be effectively ending your life.
A. And everyone elses.
B. This is how supervillains start.
A. We proved it!
B. It’s all death’s fault!
A. Cure death, solve superviallains! Batman will be so pleased!
B. Pleased or pissed?!
A. To the lab!

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