Posts Tagged ‘Tusk’

#497

January 2 2012

A. Tell me the most boring thing you know.
B. Bed time?
A. No. I’m still talking. We’re still talking.
B. Sure.
A. Just want to know the most boring thing you can think of, to know.
B. Sure.
A. Tell me the most boring thing you know.
B. Sky’s blue.
A. No.
B. What?
A. Boring boring.
B. Boring how?
A. Also true
B. Did the sky change.
A. It’s a reflection of the water
B. No?
A. Yeah. It’s only blue because it’s reflecting the color of the water
B. I think it’s the opposite of that
A. Water’s not red.
B.
A. That sounds familiar actually
B. From school, I bet. Science school.
A. What makes the sky blue then?
B. Cloudy days, ozone depletion, the songs of Harry Chapin, excess black bile
A. dumbass
B. I don’t know. Water particles probably?
A. Yeah. That sounds right.
B. Or the air is made of prisms. Or nanomachines.
A. Nanomachines?
B. Tiny robots.
A. I know what nan- ok, I don’t
B. They’re, they’re little magic robots that can do anything you can’t come up with a better explanation for how it happens
A. Sounds plausible.
B. I mean, they’re real. I think. Or they will be, it’s just
A. They’re not magic yet
B. Yeah. They don’t do things.
A. What does this have to do with the sky?
B. It’s blue because of them. Now or in the future.
A. Oh. Ok.
B. We’ll control the sky that way and then everything ‘ll be ok.
A. I wasn’t aware sky color was one of our more pressing issues.
B. The weather in general.
A. Oh.
B. We’ll be able to control all of it.
A. Huh.
B. No more floods, no more drought.
A. You don’t say.
B. At least not for the rich countries
A. Do rich countries have droughts? I thought that’s why they were rich.
B. Arizona, I bet. Or parts of California. The Dust Bowl, I bet.
A. I could have sworn that was brought on by our poverty…
B. So it was one of those opportunistic natural catastrophes
A. Wealth is how we determine God’s love and when you don’t have it that’s when your guard is down
B. Harsh.
A. It’s an incentive to do good at being successful
B. Because poverty itself isn’t stick enough
A. Well apparently not
B. There’s also no more snow.
A. What? Why!?
B. Snow’s a hazard, both safety-base and bad for the economy.
A. What about for ski resorts?
B. Sure, selectively we would let it snow
A. And then skiing would be better than ever!
B. Yeah. Almost defini
A. And all those snowboard jerks would pay
B. itely I don’t follow.
A. Ski on top of their frozen corpses
B. What?
A. like moguls. Then they’ll know.
B. Why?
A. Like dumb, stupid, jerk moguls… That’s not what I meant though.
B. Yes. Repent your snowvengous ways.
A. No, not not that.
B. Not what then.
A. Not what I meant by a boring thing.
B. Not boring enough? Sky blue’s pretty basic. I mean, once nanomachines get involved I guess
A. But not a fact. Not a sentence. Tell me something really boring.
B. Why?
A. The most boring thing you know.
B. Wait, why though?
A. I’m tired. And I love you.
B. Yes?
A. Just want to hear your voice say dumb things and lay here and let it sink me to sleep.
B. Odd song.
A. No. Sink. Not sing.
B. Weird… cement , piece of.
A. Shoes.
B. Let my words be your  murder shoes.
A. Let your words be my death galoshes.
B. That’s true. If I put you in cement shoes I wouldn’t take your regular shoes off first.
A. Unless they were real fly kicks.
B. That’s true. I wouldn’t want you to soar out of it.
A. Hm? Oh, yeah. I was just trying to be hips.
B. Mm. *grab* You’re always hips.
A. Noo. Not tired enough. Not boring.
B. What? *kiss, reach some* What could be more boring than, at this point, by now, me grabbing on you, kissing your neck, and digging for fire? *dig, fire*
A. Ahn. I think. You’re. You’re *hand v. hand* You’re underestimating my ability to stay real thrilled about the 6 or 7 good things humans can do to each other
B. *one hand slides higher, more nape kisses, quarterback sneak* Are you, fake yawn, sure? Annngh. I for one couldn’t be less so.
A. Yes, yes — yes . Yes.  Yes, I’m . I’m sure, I *dogie ropes, corrals around the waist, buck-less* I’m sure.
B. Fair enough *winter naps the arms, kerchiefs the sternum, and squeezes to settle* So, boring?
A. Be it. For me. Please. Now.
B. And this is to sleep you; it’s not a secret enraptorer.
A. No, I will not become enraptored.
B. Stupit Gehl
A. Excuse me?
B. It’s , the opposite of Clevah Gehl. You know.
A. Right, right.
B. I’m not entirely pleased with it either
A. We can workshop it.
B. Ok, I feel like
A. Later.
B. Oh.
A. Boring thing. Chop chop.
B. Hm.
A. Chip chup, now.
B. I’m thinking.
A. Chirp chirp. I’m not to feather my nest here, fascinatin’ myself.
B. Aw. Baby bird. *head kiss*
A. No, chapped chump. To boring me!
B. *move a strand of hair from mis to place*
A. Chipped chirps.
B. *kiss a cheek, a real good one– cherubic*
A. Churled Serbs!
B. *another face kiss, another, and then lips*
A. Cvrld Cvbrds
B. *continuous*
A. *chilled lips*

Later

A. Now you gotta bore me.
B. Again?
A. No. With your words. And I’m pretty sure I just bore you.
B. Words are fun.
A. Not all words. Not the ones you’re about to tell me.
B. Can’t I just boar y-
A. no.
B. Like a-
A. no.
B. Tusks.
A. *trombone lips*
B. Tusks?
A. *trumpet lips*
B. Da da Da da da Tusks!
A. No, just say dumb things for my unmusement.
B. Don’t you want to know what boaring you would entail tho?
A. Not unless it is also actually twist pun ending really boring.
B. No. *sulk/sigh* It’s super interesting.
A. Well…
B. Yes?
A. One more – but then you have to promise, Double Dog Promise, to bore the shit out of me.
B. That can certainly
A. And not in that way.
B. be, fine.
A. So?
B. Well, I.. well. It.
A. Oh c’mon.
B. I gore y
A. Gore me? With what.
B. My h
A. And if this is an Al Gore joke I swear to God I’m getting a pre-divorce
B. An nonnulment
A.
B.
A.
B. I don’t know. I thought I would come up with something.
A.
B. Probably, like, sex stuff though.
A. I’m getting in position *rubs a sleep groove into the sheets, full bodied*
B. Ok, ok. I’ll start ‘boring’ you.
A. Start?
B. Ah. Clever. Fun.
A. *nustles head into sheet, two words I can’t read, deep rips, then rests on A. Full Body Press*
B. Ok. You ready.
A. So ready. So.
B. Ok. When I was six.
A. Too interesting.
B. No, it’s really not.
A. I know so little of your life. Each bit is at least a little something, and the older the bit the moreso.
B. Fine.
A. But it can’t just be facts though
B. I know somebody
A. *nustle*
B. I don’t actually know them, not– I don’t know their name or anything but I see them everyday. Well, not everyday, but sometimes.
A. So far so good.
B. It’s not too broken up?
A. No. That helps. But, only in small doses or else it becomes frustrating, so, yes. Smooth it out now.
B. We see each other at the crosswalk, outside of work. Usually on the way there, but sometimes on the way back, and, rarely, both.
A. So they work in the same building as you?
B. No. We’re headed in opposite directions.
A. Hm. That threatens to be intrigueful…
B. Are you supposed to be talking? I thought you wanted to sink
A. I can do both.
B. If you want to drown quicker…
A. Except in this case the opposite, no, you’re right. I’ll shut it.
B. Thank you.
A. *smile*… *nod*
B. Right. So every… three mornings or so, and every… seven or nine afternoons, I see this person.
A. *nod on chest*
B. And it has gotten to the point where I recognize them. Well, obviously. I couldn’t be telling you this otherwise.
A. *look up*
B. And I’ve been debating if I should start acknowledging them or not.
A.
B. I mean, they– we don’t usually make eye contact, but I think it’s because they’re avoiding my eye contact. *look down*
A. *opens eyes wide to ‘and…’ or ‘so…’*
B. I know they know I notice them. I’m sure of it. And, it’s not like, it’s not like they look away or anything– I’ve never actually seen her avert me, it, my eye contact, I haven’t. But… but I can just tell. They let their focus go soft. They don’t want to have to know me for some reason.
A. *eyes open, head to chest; awake*
B. If I could. Get their attention, have them acknowledge me. That’s just want I want. Or, what, I mean. But.
A. So, you have a crush on a stranger.
B. What? No.
A. What. Yes.
B. Maybe?
A. Ok.
B.
A.
B.
A.
B. I guess it’s not that boring.
A. It is a little, just not for me.
B. Sorry.
A. Really?
B. Sorry.
A. Huh.

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#17

August 19 2011

A. I don’t want to go to sleep.
B. I sort of do, though.
A. No, come on. Just stay up a little bit with me.
B. How little.
A. Li’l.
B. Apostrophe ‘L’
A. Yeah. Just a li’l.
B. So… five minutes? two minutes?
A.
B. I’m tired, I don’t want to be up forever.
A. 17 minutes.
B. Why seventeen?
A. One for every year we’ve been together.
B. Uh, it’s only been
A. On earth.
B. …that is also not the case.
A. You don’t know my life.
B. I do a little.
A. No. Just a li’l.
B. Still.
A. Sti’l.
B. Ok. Seventeen it is. *reaches for phone*
A. No, you have to stay up with me though
B. I am, I am. I’m just setting my alarm.
A. …fair enough.
B. I’ve got to get up tomorrow and I want to get at leas
A. No, quit it.
B. Yes! I need to g
A. No, not that. I’ve only got 17 minutes to save your life. I don’t want to waste another second hearing about your what you’re going to do after its over.
B. After -my life- is over?
A. When you sleep.
B. I’m sorry, what
A. No. No time to be sorry. You’re getting weaker by the second.
B. Oh. Ok.
A. I can only save you if you let me, ok?
B. Sure. You can save me.
A. Nice try. But it’s not going to be that easy.
B. … Are you sure you’re not already asleep?
A. Almost, but not quite.
B. And why is my life at risk again
A. It would take too much time to explain and I barely even have enough to save it
B. Well hurry up, I guess.
A. Ok.
B.
A.
B. Are you goi
A. Hey.
B. Hey
A.
B. So is what saves me your eyes?
A. That’s part of it.
B. Is it working?
A. No. Not yet.
B. Oh.
A.
B. Are you sure I have to be awake for this?
A. You have to look at me too.
B. Oh. Ok.
A. It’s like Beauty and the Beast that way.
B. I’m looking.
A. You have to really look.
B. I’m really looking.
A. Whole face?
B. Y-e- probably not?
A. You have to look at me with your whole face.
B. How do I even do that.
A.
B.
A.
B. Am I doing it.
A. Not quite.
B. Ugh I’m not sure what you want.
A. No.
B. Yes?
A. Yeah.
B. O.k.
A. I’m looking at you just look at me.
B. Ok
A.
B.
A.
B.
A.
B.
A.
B.
A.
B. … I think I just nodded off there
A. Mm. Pull in a little.
B. *closer*
A. You did good. You almost did it.
B. What do I need to do to do it better.
A. No. That part’s over. We have to continue. Not much time.
B. But I didn’t do it right. Right?
A. You fell asleep before you could. But now you have to tell me a ghost story.
B. Maybe you should tell me a ghost story instead.
A. You’ll fall asleep again.
B. Yeah.
A. No.
B. Ok. There’s a beautiful lady and the town widower loves her but she’ll never remove h
A. Yellow ribbon, head falls off.
B. Ok. There’s a prom queen except she died 15 years ago today and there’s a
A. I think you just gave the ending away.
B. Ok. There’s death, and he wants some souls, and a bunch of braggarts and greedarts and eastern europeans are too who would love nothing more than to give theirs to him, except not really, just their words and actions would lead you to believe that that is the case
A. You need to wake up.
B. What? I’m awake I just told you about ribbons and europe and how importance of not bragging.
A. As much as I love falling asleep theater these fractured recaps don’t count. I need to find out your ghost story.
B. *My* ghost story?
A. You should tell it to me.
B. I don’t think I ever met a ghost though
A. Just tell it to me anyways.
B. I don’t know any ghosts, don’t fraid of any ghosts, don’t that’s impoceros
A. Why not?
B. Because there aren’t any ghosts. You just die and then you are dead.
A. And then what.
B. And then nothing.
A. Your body just rots
B. Yeah. Right. It rots. I for-gots. It rotts
A. And what about you
B. There is no me
A. Just disappears
B. Just disappeared
A. Ok
B. NO. Not ok.
A. You’re tired but you need to wake up
B. It’s not ok
A. Just a little bit more. Next step.
B. Next step?
A. Yeah. Push in a little.
B. Sleep step? *pushes, head now to chest*
A. Not quite.
B. rrrrrrrrr
A. … you grumbling?
B. rrrrryeahrrrr
A. C’mon grumbles. Look up at me.
B. Oh, c;mon. Not that stupid look looking game again
A. No, it’s not that. Just need to
B. Look, into my eyes
A. Yeah.
B. ehhhh, ok. I”m lookin
A. Hey.
B. Hey.
A. I think we switched places
B. Why?
A. Now you’re the one all tuckered and I’m too awake for it.
B. No. You’re too awake because you won’t let me fall asleep.
A. Not yet. There’s still work we have to do.
B. Nah.
A. *smile-laugh* C’mon
B. rrrrrrrrrrr
A. When were you born?
B. rrrryoualrrrreadyknowmybirrrrrrthday
A. When though, and where
B. rrrrrlikewhat time?
A. Yeah. And where, and who were the doctors who delivered you.
B. rrI don’t know any of that. 6?
A. Just make it up.
B. Hmm. I was born at 6:00. Exactly.
A. Whe
B. At St. Jude’s children’s hospital
A. The cancer one
B. The very same.
A. An
B. Dr. Robert
A. Li
B. Ohhhh, Doc Roberts
A. And
B. Doctor Robert
A. where did you grow up.
B. On a railroad track.
A. Wrong side or right side?
B. NO no in a swamp.
A. Like a marsh or an actu
B. No in the snow.
A. Ok.
B. Hey.
A. Hey
B. I don’t think it’s working
A. It’s going good.
B. Yeah?
A. Yeah. Who did you like first?
B. Like, like like?
A. Yeah.
B. You, baby.
A. C’mon. Really?
B. No.
A. C’mon.
B. Sam.
A. Sam who?
B. Don’t remember. Too long ago.
A. Ok. Where, mm. When…
B. It’s alright. We can quit early.
A. How will you die?
B. Well I thought I was going to die if I didn’t answer these questions right or look you in the face or something
A. No, really though
B. How will I die?
A. Cancer? Car crash?
B. Those are the two…
A. Could be a degenerative disease, I guess, or real sudden
B. No, I don’t like it.
A. Don’t worry. You can make something up.
B. No, I don’t care I am pretty sure.
A. Whatever one feels the most correct inside. Fire, water… earth
B. Hey shutup ok. It’s sleep time not death interview era.
A. Ok.
B. Ok.
A. Here, fourth part. Let me lie down here next to you.
B. Ok.
A. All close and closed.
B. Ok.
A. Don’t worry, it’s almost over
B. Ok.
A. It’s really like we switched places, I’m so
B. Ok.
A.
B.
A. Hey
B. Hey.
A. Ok
B. Ok.
A. I’m going to try and get more sleep-like
B. No. It’s not going to work.
A. I’m all tucked in now, all snug down
B. No, you can’t just want to get asleep.
A. I don’t want to get all the way, not yet
B. No, that’s too much efforting it.
A. Come here. It’s almost time.
B.
A. Somewhere there’s a place where we are both equally almost asleep but still awake and
B. No, that’s not, there’s no that. There’s only just falling asleep.
A. Yeah, but in this place we can fall asleep together
B. No.
A. Or try, and keep trying until
B.*bu
A.       zz
B.              zz*
A.
B.
A. it works.